I had a PULS Cardiac Test. It is a very new test that measures the risk of a cardiac event. It measures proteins, other markers, lifestyle, and considers weight, glucose/insulin readings, smoking drinking etc. I have a "heart-age" of someone in their 80's! I was devastated. My doctor was frustrated because there was nothing that I needed to discontinue in my life, or anything that I wasn't doing that I should be doing. Good Diet, continual exercise, no smoking/drugs/alcohol...all the right things...except managing my stress. It's a killer. It's killing me.
During the next eight days after finding out this news (which was the Tuesday after Thanksgiving), I had a week from hell. My emotions were off the Richter scale. I could not reel myself in. I wanted to drink and to cut myself, but being 28+ years sober, and 14 years+ in Borderline recovery put the damper on those outlets. Have you ever wanted to self-destruct because you were in so much pain, but the pain of following the impulses was just a tiny bit more uncomfortable than than the pain of enduring what was doing on? This was one of those times. The discomfort of indecision added to my erratic behavior. Now, I cannot comfort myself with sweets, since I have struggled to pull myself out of being diabetic to pre-diabetic to being in the normal range for sugar/insulin/glucose. I've worked too hard to get here. Picture main-lining Skittles. That is how I could saturate my body with sweets and get a temporary fix.
Then I started taking yoga 3x per week. Doing so has helped my mood, cravings and angst. I also take a Y-C Cleanse for the sugar cravings. (Too much yeast/candida in my body). So maybe this test's results were a wake-up call. I don't know. I DO KNOW that I have changed some more things in my life to get through this rough patch. I plan to put these changes into "forever" behaviors. I am trying to rid my body of the toxins that are diminishing my health. I am overdosing on Hallmark Christmas movies to help with my gratitude for my life as it improves. It's a lot of hard work. I will not let this disorder beat me.
During the next eight days after finding out this news (which was the Tuesday after Thanksgiving), I had a week from hell. My emotions were off the Richter scale. I could not reel myself in. I wanted to drink and to cut myself, but being 28+ years sober, and 14 years+ in Borderline recovery put the damper on those outlets. Have you ever wanted to self-destruct because you were in so much pain, but the pain of following the impulses was just a tiny bit more uncomfortable than than the pain of enduring what was doing on? This was one of those times. The discomfort of indecision added to my erratic behavior. Now, I cannot comfort myself with sweets, since I have struggled to pull myself out of being diabetic to pre-diabetic to being in the normal range for sugar/insulin/glucose. I've worked too hard to get here. Picture main-lining Skittles. That is how I could saturate my body with sweets and get a temporary fix.
Then I started taking yoga 3x per week. Doing so has helped my mood, cravings and angst. I also take a Y-C Cleanse for the sugar cravings. (Too much yeast/candida in my body). So maybe this test's results were a wake-up call. I don't know. I DO KNOW that I have changed some more things in my life to get through this rough patch. I plan to put these changes into "forever" behaviors. I am trying to rid my body of the toxins that are diminishing my health. I am overdosing on Hallmark Christmas movies to help with my gratitude for my life as it improves. It's a lot of hard work. I will not let this disorder beat me.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!
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