It's been since October 13, 2013 since I have posted. A lifetime ago. As I refer back to my personal journal, I remembered I was almost hospitalized on 10-16-13, three days later. My mother had become so frightfully hateful, and let my significant other know how much she absolutely hated me. I had to consult my circle of confidants and spiritual advisers as to how to handle a very volatile situation. The unanimous conclusion: I needed to take a hiatus from my mother. She was emotionally and mentally killing me, and therapy and Al-Anon could not right the situation as quickly as she was unraveling it. So, until Oct. 9, 2014, I did not interact with her. She was mad about that, and sent letters of hate to me.
My family could not and would not understand. I was shunned again by those whom I cared about in my biological family. My mother's chastisements were a lot more stronger than my actions "of taking care of myself." I survived. So did she.
In that year I kept on with my therapy, practicing my behavioral DBT Skills, going to my beloved Al-Anon meetings, reading, my meditations, meditating, working the 12-Steps of Recovery. In that year good things happened. We bought and renovated an older home within two blocks of where we had lived for 10 years. That consumed May through December of 2014; no Christmas tree was put up that year. We put all new everything inside this home, and we began to enjoy it. We visited my brother twice 2,300 miles away. I handled difficult situations better. I made myself more available to friends and family. I started enjoying things more. I delved into more computer work and website construction, and have realized that I need to do more writing. I guess you could say I got a new lease on Life...but it took the Darkness Before the Dawn.
The Midwest has had a somewhat grueling winter, but it is my home. It is where I was born, and where I will die. I love the seasons and the rhythm of Life.
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