Day #203 Since Midwest Quarantine

I am at a loss.  The pandemic of Covid-19 is still raging.  The political scene is preposterous.  The tropical storms are multiplying.  The California fires are destroying the Earth like never before.  No rules are adhered to; little respect for the destructive virus that has killed over 215,000 Americans is portrayed; and there is little regard for our fellow man whose skin is darker than mine. NOTHING MAKES SENSE. 

Are we witnessing a prelude to End Times?  I hope not.  Suggestions of pushing the "pause" button can bring about inner change which may manifest into social upheaval in the short-term and possibly yield a New World Order.  Ya think?

I feel like a caged animal.  I am tired of "Zoom" and "Skype" and "Face-time"...yet they are my only outlet for social contact, besides going to the local Meijer and shopping with other people who shuffle along and are numb with disbelief at the state of affairs of their changing lives, our democracy and the world in which we live.

Sometimes I do not think that I can go on ONE MORE DAY.  But then I always do.  Walking over 500 miles in the last 203 days and online Zumba classes have been my salvation.  Carry-out food from a couple of "trust-worthy" restaurants is a real treat.  I go to the grocery just to feel productive.  I clamor for a drive which sometimes takes us through our boarded-up downtown-- a reminder of the protests just a couple of months ago on racial injustice due to the senseless murders of black men and women.  Possibly, a drive out-of-town would transport me to a world that is void of the "new normal" which cloak my days.  It never does.  

It's the same wherever I go:  in the car, on my computer, and in my head as I try to sleep at night--hoping to find it different somewhere, anywhere.  I witness the resigned expressions on faces of my friends on a computer screen, and question whether they are going through the same mental struggles as I am.  I don't know.  Maybe I should ask them.

Some people are thriving.  That is what they have told me.  I can think of 2.  The rest of us?  Are we merely surviving?  What a way to live.  Yet, we must turn "this" around...but how?  Sometimes, I think it would be so nice to wake up and find that all of this turmoil has vanished.  Magical thinking.  It is going to be a slow, arduous process.  I pray to a God for relief.  I promise to do my part.  I am turning inward and outward for answers, and I am met with a dismissive silence.

There's always "Grey's Anatomy" on Netflix and Hallmark Christmas movies coming up in a couple of weeks.  Yay.  Thanks for letting me rant.