About Me

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Midwest, United States
I am a first-born female over age 60. I am middle class, and have a graduate degree in Business. I have over 28 continuous years in recovery from alcoholism. I have been in Borderline treatment for over 14 years. I still have not reached full-time Serenity, but I have continued to survive this disorder using distress tolerance skills, interpersonal effectiveness, mindfulness, and emotion regulation. These are the 4 components of the DBT Skills as devised by Dr. Marsha Linehan. Email me with any questions at amy@alawebpages.com. Many thanks and blessings for sharing my interest and broadening your awareness of this disorder.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pat on the Back

It's raining where I am, but I try to not let it bother my mood. I usually am a bit of a mirror for the weather. My joints feel the low pressures and dampness. If God waters my flowers, then my utility bill stays low.

Well, I am taught to give myself credit and pat myself on the back when I skillfully handle a situation. Two situations in the last 24 hours I have confronted with carefully measured words, and regulated and modulated tone of voice. Not my usual Modus Operandi. Setting boundaries as well as letting people know when they are making assumptions helps to smooth things out, clarify actions and intentions, and to hopefully not experience the same unpleasantry again. i have to remember: people don't usually like it when you put boundaries out them to be adhered to. People expect you to be co-dependent and bow to their wishes - especially if you have made mistakes with them in the past.


It has been my experience to hold things in, cop a resentment, and avoid that person, or passive-aggressively behave when around them. It has never worked for me when I did that. This is all new behavior for me. I am trying to apply what I have learned in DBT classes. That is not to say that I will not fall back into old way in a given situation that really sends me spinning. But if I practice and acquire skillful behaviors, they will come easier, when I really need to apply them. Have a Peaceful day.

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