Good Evening. Another storm diffused. We have a continuing family issue going on. Drugs, alcohol, anger, rages, disrespect, abuse. Now, grandchildren are being "withheld" from my significant other and I, because we set a boundary and had a guideline for the exchange of the grandchildren, and the mother would not abide when all was said and done. Well, it's been 4 weeks since we've seen them. My SOP says that my therapist and I should have never tried to put in place a boundary and agreement for the exchange of the children. In other words: we should have never pissed the mother off. It is our fault! Imagine that! Talk about back-pedaling when something doesn't work out, and blame the initiator of the boundary for things not working out! So much for sobriety and sanity. Twenty years of sobriety, and still having a tough time dealing with immense dysfunction.
I had to call my therapist. She had to talk me down. She says the most important thing is to get calmed down. I want to solve the problem that has been dragging on since March 2009. No one is going to change. I have gotten emotionally involved with these kids, and I wish I hadn't. Their grandfather is doing nothing. I have asked him, "how much dysfunction will you tolerate before you put your foot down and say 'no more!'" He said, "I don't know my breaking point."
He blames me for being Borderline. He can show unhappiness and upset; when I do, I am an "acting out Borderline". That is not fair, not at all. I am not my diagnosis. I am a person with feelings, and emotions about intolerable situations. Because this is HIS FAMILY, he minimizes things. Yes, it is really bad. His son is a drug addict, an alcoholi and a porn addict (according to his wife). What a sicko! And all us Borderlines get the bad publicity. It doesn't seem fair. Nor right.
So, I am unregulated tonight. But I am distracting myself...one of the DBT skills. Peace.
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